I ain’t gonna lie. I’m a huge shipper. I love shipping. I love to explore characters and their interactions with other characters. I love character relationships. And I ship just about everything.
But. Love is crazy. There are so many opinions on it, so many stories about it, and so many songs singing about it. And while I, being the very opinionated person I am, tend to disagree with some opinions and insights about love, one in particular bothers me the very most:
These people belong together because they complete one another!
Now, I won’t deny that this sounds incredibly cute. It makes it seem like the lovers are simply perfect for one another. But look closer. This comment has the very nasty implication that people are incomplete without a significant other, and thus the only way to be whole is to have a romantic partner.
And…that disturbs me.
No matter what love songs say (for example, “I come to you in pieces/so you can make me whole”), everyone is a whole, complete person by themselves. We don’t need anyone to “complete” us. And I say if we’re that reliant on a romantic partner, then that’s not even a healthy relationship, anyway. Love should be about wanting a person, not needing them. Because while humans do need people, we don’t need a romantic relationship. People can live successfully and happily single, and the implication that they cannot I find saddening.
I feel like today’s modern society disagrees pretty strongly with me about all this. For a couple of examples, the influx of love songs belting about the “brokenness” and misery of being single (“How am I supposed to move on when I’m still in love with you?”), and the judging of a person’s worth on whether or not they have a boyfriend/girlfriend all says that without a romantic partner, we’re worthless, nothing, incomplete, and a bunch of shattered pieces. And that’s hurtful—especially if we want to advocate healthy relationships. If people are feeling like the only way they’ll be complete is to be in a romantic relationship, then they’ll likely feel down on themselves and hate themselves if they don’t have a romantic partner. Which just causes more problems. Because—and it’s very true—it’s hard to fall in love with someone who doesn’t love her/himself.
I hope in the future, this idea just dwindles away so we can have happier and healthier relationships not just with other people, but with ourselves.